Autoimmune diseases

I feel in images. And right now I feel the ground shaking at a beach side resort. Guests who a moment ago were in the unquestioning bliss of paradise stare towards the ocean confused. Then, from beyond the horizon, it comes. And the confusion turns to terror as a growing wall of water eclipses the sun, with a violent roar it casts a momentary dark shadow over everything before a thousand tons of water come crashing down, devouring everything in their wake. I feel myself tossed around, arms and legs flailing in the dark waters; debris zooming all around. I need air but even if I wasn't completely helpless against Poseidon's fury I wouldn't know which direction was up. So I feel my helpless flailing and wonder how much longer I continue before I just give up and allow the darkness to completely swallow me.

My emotions are a tsunami and I just may die from a broken heart. But this heart isn't the usual analogy of a mortally wounded spirit, the victim of a cruel world's machinations. This is a cold, hard broken heart. Its jagged edges are the weapon not the casualty. My self is conspiring to destroy me, my uncontrollable emotions unsatisfied until all my joy, my peace, even my hope is gone. No pithy statements will suffice. I have an autoimmune disease; a betrayal by my flesh, my heart. My defenses are on the offensive, and as my soul is tossed around in this nefarious milieu, I'm acutely aware that I am moments away from the end... I need one much greater than I to fight this battle.

So, with the last of what is left in my I cry, "Salva Me", and then allow myself to fall limp. We'll see who won in the morning.